Father and son on a vendetta

Shogun Assassin (1980)

If you know how this movie was made everything should tell you this is nothing but cheap exploitation made for the dumb audience to get a quick fix of some sword swinging action. Robert Houston got the idea to re-cut two movies from the Lone Wolf and Cub series into one short action filled romp. Namely these two Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance (1972) and Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx (1972) with a tiny bit from the third one as well. All that dubbed into English and with a new swinging soundtrack. So it doesn't sound good on paper, but even in fear of getting some mortal enemies from the fans of the Lone Wolf and Cub series, this is better than the first two parts together. First of all this movie gets the setting up of the story done in a fast and effective way, unlike the original series where it tends to drag on for way too long. Second this movie adds a whole new dimension to the story with the narration by the Cub, which of course is done to explain some of the missing parts, but it actually works wonders for the depth of the characters. And the dubbing, it's one of the best I've seen in any movie dubbed from one language to another. Apparently they used deaf people to read the lips and try to guess what they were saying and then basing the dialog into words that fit the story and the mouth movements. Quite ingenious if you ask me and it works brilliantly. Now most of you who know me and my hate towards remakes and cheap copies are probably wondering how the hell can I like a movie like this which takes a piece of classic cinema art and "destroys" it. Well I see it as a remix, just like in music, most of the time they are not exactly great, but sometimes they can be even better than the original and this is one of those.

Anyway this movie tells the story of Shogun's decapitator, Lone Wolf, who with his son, Cub, seeks revenge on the Shogun who murdered his wife. The Shogun uses all his power to send out ninjas, warriors and assassins to stop the Lone Wolf, but a great samurai warrior with a vengeance on his mind is not stopped so easily. The story is very simple, but there's surprisingly much depth to the characters, mostly because there was so much material to go with I guess it was relatively easy to build strong characters out of those. There's no shortage of action and the body count goes absolutely crazy towards the end. But still there's drama and tragedy behind the showers of blood and decapitated heads. The movie is simply beautifully shot, some of the frames are works of art worth placing on your wall. Too bad the Brittish DVD I watched was from a print that had seen it's better days. There are also a few scenes that are just pure brilliance on the psychological side as well, for example the warming up scene after escaping the burning boat. And call me crazy, but I like the rather simple soundtrack too. Actually the only thing I don't like about this movie is that it credits only Robert Houston as a director while ignoring Kenji Misumi who directed the original movies. Sure Houston cut this version, but still some credit to Misumi who made the amazing source material would be welcome. Anyway I really like this movie and even though I've seen it many times by now it still works wonders. That's a sign of a true classic.
91%

Linda Blair cleaning up the streets

Savage Streets (1984)

This movie borrows quite heavily from Death Wish (1974) and others of it's kind, though this time Charles Bronson is replaced by the young Linda Blair. Se plays Brenda who with her friends ends up pissing off a group of drug dealing gang members. The gang then rapes Brenda's sister and kill her best friend as a revenge. Brenda decides to take the law into her own hands and deal out some justice with a crossbow. This movie is simply fun, it's clearly made with a tongue in cheek attitude with plenty of violence and nudity, not forgetting the great one liners in true 80's action movie style. Add to that a brilliant 80's soundtrack and a plot which is just hilarious in stupidity and you have an entertaining movie. Surprisingly enough there are quite a few good performances in this one, John Vernon as the principal was great as was Robert Dryer as Jake, the leader of the gang. And I must say I also enjoyed Linda Blair giving these great one liners before dealing some violent justice, even though her performance otherwise wasn't that great. Rest of the cast were from ok to rather bad. But they fit their silly roles anyway so it didn't matter that much. This is one of those great movies to get over a hangover morning or some night with friends drinking to get one.
80%

Some serious party poopers

The House on the Edge of the Park (1980)

Right after Cannibal Holocaust (1980) Ruggero Deodato made this nasty little film. Even though the shock values might not be what they were in Cannibal Holocaust, this movie is still very disturbing. There's two kinds of sexploitation, there's the rather childish male fantasies and then there's the sick kind. This being a Ruggero Deodato movie this is of course the latter. It's a story about Alex (David Hoss) a homicidal rapist and his friend Ricky (Giovanni Radice), who invite themselves into a party hosted by a snobbish couple. Alex and Ricky take the group hostage, beating the men and raping the women. So the story isn't exactly great and similarities to The Last House on the Left (1972) are quite apparent. This is a bad movie, no other way of seeing it, but at parts it's so bad it turns into an unintentional comedy. Especially the twist at the end was just hilarious in it's stupidity and it pretty much ridiculed the whole movie before it. I don't know if that was a planned sick joke or just stupidity, but for me that worked very well. So basically it's an hour of torture, rape and torment and the ending makes fun of it all.
51%

Here's the trailer which is hilariously misspelled.

Satan's baby doll is surprisingly dull

Satan's Baby Doll (1982)

Nearing the end on my Shameless marathon and I must say the last five movies have been a bit of a let down (The Bronx movies and those two from Sirpa Lane). Unfortunately this one continues on the same track as the Lane movies. The idea is that after Maria's (Marina Hedman) death her spirit posesses her daughter Miria (Jacqueline Dupre) who then goes about to avenge her mother's death. The plot is thin to say the least but it's merely an excuse for showing some skin. And about the skin, maybe it's because I watched three of these in a row, but the sex scenes were just dull. For a movie like this that's most certainly not a good thing. At parts the movie tries to build some tension and suspense, but most of the time it just ends in stupidity. The score was annoying as hell and it's played so often that I was ready to turn off the volume completely. Wouldn't have mattered that much as pretty much everything anyone says in this movie is just time filling text book nonsense. I must give it some credit for trying to create a creepy atmosphere and for the efforts of building tension, but still it's a bad movie.

20%

The Finnish star of sexploitation

I just watched two movies from Sirpa Lane, Finland's gift to the world of sexploitation and 70's B-movies, so here's my brief thoughts on them. I must say I'm not really a fan of sexploitation movies, so pardon me if I don't understand the “brilliance” of these two.

The Beast in Space (1980)

Well the camp values surely are strong with this one. Hilarious costumes, funny cheap special effects, some weird light sabre ripoffs, a half man half horse with a big dildo between the legs and a computer robot monster of some sort with some humanoid robot minions, just to name a few. Add to that all the naked ladies of course, so the entertainment values are high. But really even with all that it was rather boring most of the time, that says a lot about the story of the movie and the horrible pacing of it all. The story is some nonsense about people on a space ship looking for some rare material called Antallum, but everyone seems to be focusing on drinking in the bar and having sex. Eventually they then visit a planet which is ruled by some computer monster thing which controls people's minds turning the whole place into one big orgy. I watched the Shameless release of this movie which said it's the most complete “softcore” version with some shots inserted from the hardcore version which contains additional porn footage added to it. It was rather apparent where the actual movie switched to the porn inserts as you can clearly see it's different people having sex than before. And the weirdest part were the “stunt tits” used in some scenes which didn't look anything like the tits of Sirpa Lane which of course are already presented very thoroughly. I mean for example a scene where she is laying on the ground on a green background while a man rubs her tits cuts to some other tits being rubbed with a blue background while the actress is clearly standing and then cut back to the ground and rubbing the actual tits. What the hell is the point of that? Now I did laugh quite a lot watching this and wasn't bored at all but still I'd rate this among the average of it's kind.

48%

Can't find a trailer for this one.

Love Goddess of the Cannibals (1978)

Talk about a misleading name, apart from two scenes which were borderline cannibalism, this movie has absolutely nothing to do with cannibals. This is nothing but the usual Joe D'Amato sexploitation romp. Well there is a slight try for a statement as the movie is kind of anti nuclear energy, but the focus is of course on the naked ladies and softcore sex. The idea is that there's a nuclear plant being built on some exotic island and the natives have a leader (Melissa Chimenti) who seemingly likes to have sex with the scientists before her minions kill them. Amongst all this is Sara (Sirpa Lane), whose purpose being on the island in the first place is rather vague, except for having sex with everyone. So yes, it's not a great plot and neither is the movie. Apart from a few unintentionally funny scenes, the only thing I liked about the movie was the score by Stelvio Cipriani, though that as well was rather repetitive. Sexploitation fans might get something out of this, but can't really recommend it to anyone else, It's not even bad enough to be funny. I have to give some credit to the music and Sirpa Lane who's always pleasing to the eyes.

23%

Apparently I can't link the trailer here as it has an age limit on it, so search for it on YouTube if you want to see it.

The Bronx Warriors Trilogy

When movies like The Warriors (1979), Mad Max (1979) and Escape from New York (1981) hit gold at the box office, Italy was soon to answer the call for “post apocalyptic” movies. Enzo G. Castellari was the one who brought us this series here for what ever that's worth.

The Bronx Warriors (1982)

Well this movie is bad, but it's so bad it's actually not bad as it's so funny. The plot is pretty much nonsense, the idea is that in the near future, which was 1990, the Bronx has been turned into a free zone for the criminals where the gangs can roam free and the police rather stay out of there. One day a woman (Stefania Girolami) escapes from some corporate conspiracy into Bronx and ends up stirring things into an all out war between the different gangs. The main gang of this movie is The Riders, who are supposed to be this motorcycle gang and the ruling authority down there, but most of them look like your average office workers dressed in denim and leather. Apparently some of them were played by the real Hell's Angels and indeed some of the lesser characters look quite believable, but anyone with a few lines dialogue is most certainly not. Their leader is Trash (Mark Gregory). He's supposed to be this fearless leader, but he looks more like a gay kid who forgot the butt plug from last night still in his ass which makes him prance around like a fairy. And it didn't really help that he's also crying like a little girl. The other “gangs” are just as hilarious. There's the “gentlemen” gang, dressed in fancy clothing and who seem to be surprisingly wealthy for a slum like this. There's the roller skating hockey gang, which just leaves you wondering how do they get around this ruined city with their small skates. There's a tap dancing gang wearing flashy costumes and makeup who of course fight with only dance maneuvers. Then there's some pale faced zombie gang with with nothing but wooden planks as weapons. Not to forget the all leather wearing police forces in motorcycle helmets wielding flamethrowers while riding on horses. So yes, it's crazy. It's cheaply made which shows in many places, but then again that only adds to the camp values of it all. The acting is from crap to horrible and the fighting isn't much better. Luckily there were some nice gore effects to keep the entertainment values up. Even though I wasn't bored watching this as a campy fun ride, I must say it still wasn't a good movie. So as a proper post apocalyptic action movie it's just garbage and as a fun campy trash flick it's just ok.

52%

Escape from the Bronx (1983)

As the first part seemed to do a decent business on the box office, Castellari didn't waste time with the sequel and actually made two of them a year after the original. Even though the other one wasn't a direct sequel, it's still in the same category. Anyway, this time it's complete extermination as the corporate folk decide to clean up the Bronx, by killing everyone of course. Trash is unfortunately back, though this time he doesn't seem as feminine as in the first one, but it's not exactly a great improvement. His parents get killed so he decides to take revenge by kidnapping the president of the corporation tearing down the Bronx, in hopes of holding him hostage for the freedom of the Bronx. He's joined by a pre-school explosives expert and his dad. The story is ridiculous to say the least, but again that's not the main thing, it's the campy exploitative fun of it all. I must say the action was well in hand in this one, the body count must be close to 200 in this movie. So that combined with the horrible acting and the ridiculous plot ensure that the entertainment values are high with this one. The music was horribly 80's disco-like electronic beats which was rather annoying most of the time. Even though this was worse than the original I still enjoyed this more. Go figure...

63%

The New Barbarians (1983)

This is actually the only part which is post apocalyptic as in the previous two the “apocalypse” was merely a decay in the Bronx, but this one it's an actual nuclear winter aftermath. And to be honest it doesn't have much to do with the other two, except the general idea of ripping off these post apocalyptic box office hits. But as it's in The BronxWarriors Trilogy and done by Castellari, that's why it's here as well. The story in this one is like from any spaghetti western, the setting are just futuristic instead of the old west. A group of bandits, called Templars, are terrorizing the people who are trying to build another civilization after the nuclear apocalypse. Scorpion (Giancarlo Prete) is a lone wanderer with a righteous mind who gets mixed up in the mess and well you basically can guess the rest. But it's the little things that made me have a constant “what the fuck?” expression on my face. The costumes are ridiculous with their over the top shoulder toppings and especially the transparent armors were more than weird. The Templars, who are all men for obvious reasons, blame literature for the apocalypse and seemingly just want to kill everyone still alive. They also seem to be an openly gay society as raping a woman is not their ball park, but raping a man is a group event, good for them I guess. The props are just silly, the cars look like modified golf carts and the laser rifles are standard M-16's shooting fireballs. So it's clear the budget was small, luckily most of it went to the explosions and gore effects so the entertainment values are good. I must say I was quite disappointed in the soundtrack by Claudio Simonetti, usually his name is a guarantee for something good, but this time it was a miss. This movie has tons of unintentionally funny moments which made me laugh out loud. Especially the not so subtle hint at the end where the butt raped hero seemingly rejects a woman who fancies him but instead takes the hand of a young boy left me quite troubled. I really hope I misunderstood the meaning. I'd say this is the best out of the three, at least it's the funniest, though that doesn't mean it's a great movie no matter how you see it.

66%

Like always with these ripoffs, there's plenty of other unofficial sequels as well, like Endgame - Bronx lotta finale (1983), Bronx Executioner (1989) and others as well, but I'll leave those to another time, after all there's only so much I can take of bad movies at once.

Why don't we have sex before I kill you?

She Killed in Ecstasy (1971)

This is one of the better movies from the infamous exploitation guru Jess Franco, that however doesn't make this a great movie. Dr. Johnson's experiments with aborted fetuses is brought to a stop by a group of surprisingly jealous colleagues who deem it inhumane and revoke his license. Not only that but they decide to trash his laboratory as well for some weird reason. Unable to do what he loves the most makes dr. Johnson lose his mind and commit suicide. Dr. Johnson's wife swears revenge on the people who destroyed her husband, so she decides to seduce and kill all of them. Well needless to say the plot is quite crap and the acting is mostly weak, but that's not exactly the point of this movie. It's of course the sex and violence which both there are plenty enough, though getting there takes surprisingly long. The violence is quite mild compared to others of it's kind and the effects are rather bad. The sex on the other hand is well in hand, mostly thanks to Soledad Miranda who is always a pleasure for the eyes. She also is the one who puts the most effort into the acting and does a surprisingly good performance turning from an innocent wife into a crazed seductive killer. The cinematography and the set design are quite brilliant so the movie looks gorgeous. The music is also great, even though it does start to repeat itself a bit too much in the end. So in the end there's quite a bit I liked in this movie, but on the other hand there was an equal amount which I didn't.

50%

The critter from the shitter

Ratman (1988)

Well this was a bad movie, but at parts it's so bad it's good. A scientist manages to create a creature that is a mix of a rat combined with a monkey, and so Ratman is born. While the scientist dreams of the Nobel prize for his efforts, the Ratman stalks around the Carribean town killing young and beautiful women. A woman travels to the island as the police think her sister is dead and she meets a writer on the way to the morgue. Well the writer decides to join her to the morgue to see the body (ye, go figure..) and it turns out the body is not her sister. Soon another body pops out and again the woman is asked to the morgue, with the writer of course, and again it's not her sister. Guess the police just call her to the morgue any time some woman ends up dead or something. Anyway the two start to investigate what's going on and soon they find out where her sister is and what the Ratman is all about. So the story is highly idiotic, but it's actually so crazy it's quite fun. The acting is horrible, so bad infact that the world's smallest actor, Nelson de la Rosa, playing the Ratman with a bit of fake hair and pointy teeth is the best of the lot. Luckily there is some nudity to keep the interest up and especially one shower scene is quite brilliant with it's sound effects. Despite this being some times a trashy fun ride, it still has it's weak moments where absolutely nothing happens and it tends to get quite boring. Fans of trahsy bad movies will get their share of fun, but the rest better skip this one.
48%

The Last Night Virgin Murders The Spring On The Left Train House

Night Train Murders (1975)

Sorry for the crazy title, the reason for it is that this movie is actually quite an interesting curiosity. It's exploitation in the second generation so to say, it exploits the idea of another hugely popular exploitation movie, Wes Craven's The Last House on the Left (1972), which in turn exploited a popular Ingmar Bergman's The Virgin Spring (1960). That's not really anything special as there are tons of movies that exploit other exploitation movies, but what makes this trio special is that both of the versions keep the moral dilemma from the original in them as well. Even though the story could have been told straight forward relying only on the shock factor, the main point of vengeance making the person commiting it no better than the one that deserves it is still very present there. And that's why I quite like this one. So it's basically the same story as in The Last House on the Left (1972) but this time it all happens on a night train. Two young women are on their way home for the Christmas on an almost empty night train when they come across two drug addict thugs and a nymphomanic woman. Well as the story follows quite closely Craven's film, I'm not going to say anything more about it so I don't end up spoiling 3 movies, even though the other 2 should be considered as general knowledge by now. I was expecting this to be an audio-visual update for the Craven's version, but the style was surprisingly straight forward with only a few quite stylish scenes. Even Ennio Morricone's score isn't shining out in any way and actually one of the strongest scenes in the movie has no sounds at all. And that's quite a shame as the movie really doesn't bring anything to the old story, but then again it luckily doesn't take away either. So it's basically the same story in a different setting, surely it's nowhere near as good as The Virgin Spring (1960) and not even as good as The Last House on the Left (1972), but still it's not a bad movie as it manages to keep the most important point of the story unlike many others of it's kind. The dubbing was horrible as in most Italian movies, so watch it with the original soundtrack if possible.
66%

Fight the power sisters!

Flavia The Heretic (1974)

I have to say I'm a bit puzzled. I hadn't seen this before but of course heard a great deal about it as it's kind of notorious among the fans of the exploitation genre. It's described as a brutal, sleazy and straight forward nunsploitation, but to be honest I was wondering did I really see the same movie as everyone else. This movie reminded me more of The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928) than Behind Convent Walls (1978) or any other nunsploitation flick like that. I mean sure the main character is a nun and sure there are quite a few sexual themes in it and yes it even has some nasty scenes and a bit of violence, but it's basically a historical piece about a woman who fights back the oppressors. And with that it even manages to raise quite a few thought provoking points, another thing that's very uncommon for nunsploitation. So yes I liked the story quite a bit, but the movie surely isn't without flaws. The style is quite uneven, at parts it's very straight forward exploitation like and at parts it's very stylish somewhat even surrealistic. The pacing is fast, so you won't get bored at any point. The cast is quite good, Florinda Bolkan being the most notable of course, but Maria Casares as sister Agatha was quite great also. The low budget shows at parts quite badly, but it really didn't matter that much. If you can call this nunsploitation then this is by far the best of it's kind, but as a historical drama it's not bad either. By the way the Shameless DVD was annoyingly letterboxed into a 4:3 frame which means when you watch it on a widescreen telly you'll have only a small image in center of your screen with tons of black all around it. Weird thing as thus far all of the Shameless releases have been very good quality.
68%

Rhino's and boobies

Prehistoric Women (1967)

This one from the Hammer Collection is by far the worst Hammer movie I've seen. But it's actually so bad it becomes quite fun. A jungle guide kills a cheetah and gets captured by a tribe of natives who want to sacrifice him. But while the ritual is taking place, the man touches a horn of a sacred rhino and is sent to another world. This world has only women, brunettes who enslave the blondes. Him being the only man, he of course is quite wanted on both sides. This movie is utter nonsense and so badly made it makes it quite campy and fun. The acting is pretty much horrible, the effects are goofy, the story is ridiculous and the ending is something quite confusing in all it's stupidity. So the camp values are high, but it's still not a great bad movie. Even though at parts you can laugh out loud, there's still quite a few scenes that just make you yawn. So it's an average campy fun bad movie. The picture quality on the DVD was ok with no subtitles and only a trailer as an extra.
51%

Desecration of the shark

The Last Jaws (1981)

What better way to make some easy money with movies than to ride with the fame of one of the biggest horror hits ever made. At least that's most certainly what the producers of this movie were thinking. Spielberg's Jaws (1975) was such a huge hit with such a simple idea that spawned quite a few sequels of it's own. But this movie is not one of the original sequels, this is exploitation at it's finest, or worst, depending on how you see it. This basicly takes the story of the first two original Jaws, combines them and takes out all the nonsense drama in between. Now in an exploitation movie that's usually a good thing, you get more of what you loved about the original, but in this one it's not really. There's not really any blood and guts, not that much action and most surprisingly to the likes of it, no tits. So the entertainment values are quite low without any drama in it either. But it is somewhat goofy in how it's made so there's a few unintentional laughs in there, mostly involving bad acting, bad effects and a ridiculously predictable plot. So it's not a total failure on the campy department, but still didn't offer enough to keep me entertained. As a curiosity this is a nice movie, pretty much a perfect example of Italian exploitation on the success of Hollywood movies and from what I've read it did make some money also, so it surely worked despite a few lawsuits from the creators of the original.
39%

A Roman cat fight

The Arena (1974)

All the trademarks of a Roger Corman exploitation flick this time set in the ancient Rome and done by the Italian sexploitation maestro Joe D'Amato. The Roman people get bored of watching male gladiators beat themselves to death on the arena and want something new. Change the men to women and the people are happy again. Needless to say the story was crap as always. Same thing as in so many others of it's kind, enslavement and abuse with payback and escape in the end. On a D'Amato scale this was very tame, not what you'd expect from the master of sleaze. But on a Corman scale this was quite an average effort. Had enough of good laughs and feast for the eyes to keep me entertained, but far from the best of it's kind.
44%

Sexploitation version of Indiana Jones

Gwendoline (1984)

What happens when the director of Emmanuelle (1974) decides to make an action adventure in the spirit of Idiana Jones and the likes? You get Gwendoline, a campy, sexy, badly made, good looking, bondage oriented and even quite violent fun ride. I don't even want to go to the acting, the cast is there for their looks, not for their talent. Most of the effects are quite bad, but funny enough all the gore effects are quite striking. They have their priorities I guess. The story is crap, but serves it's purpose to take the movie to the land of the women. The dialog is straight from a porno movie, "Take off your clothes, it's raining!" or while being captive of a cannibal tribe "You don't want to die a virgin", you get the point. Plenty of tits and asses, spiced with bad jokes and campy story. Not the best of it's kind, but it's still fun for a hangover morning when you want to give your brain a rest.
69%

The new master race?

The Black Gestapo (1975)

Oh man where do I begin... Harlem is overrun by racist white mafia, who all seem to have a porn star moustache and overly big sunglasses. The citizens found a People's Army to provide some sort of protection against the bad white men. The "army" is more like a group of boyscouts who don't get the job done and just get beat up by the mafia. So they separate a small more militant group to act against the mafia, Black Milita (or Black Gestapo as the title says). These guys are no boyscouts who go door to door selling cookies, they climb up your window and cut your balls out. As the mafia doesn't like this, there's a war naturally. But then all of a sudden the white mafia is gone and the movie turns into a fight between the People's Army and the Black Militia. It loses quite a bit of it's momentun at that point, but luckily the end is still quite hilarious. This movie's world view is so black and white that it's just hilarious. Women are either whores, nurses or lying naked on the bed and the men are all tougher than the other. This really was so bad that it was actually great fun.
75%

From Sweden with a vengeance

Thriller: A Cruel Picture (1974)

Before I get to the film itself I have to say a few words about Quentin Tarantino. Some people question his contribution to the art of film saying he just recycles old ideas and mixes them with his trademark "trendy" dialog. This minority is partly right but I don't agree with them. I love his movies and what he has done to the art of film making, not just by his own films but the awareness he raises for old forgotten "classics". You may think what ever you want about the whole "grindhouse" genre, but it has it's place and deserves to be available for those who wish to see them. It's thanks to him we finally in 2004 got a proper DVD release of this movie. Before that a crappy severely cut bootleg copy was the best you could wish for. For a bit of background, Bo Arne Vibenius got frustrated from the box office failure of his first movie, so he decided to make the most commercial movie he could think of just to cash in some big bucks. Sex and violence was his recipe. Some commercial movie he surely did, the movie got banned straight away in Sweden, it's homeland, only to have the same fate in another country after the other. He finally found a distributor for the movie in America, but only after it had been cut more than 20 minutes. The movie kind of vanished after that even though it was quite famous in the genre scene where it was hyped beyond reality just before it's full length DVD release in 2004. So I of course rushed to spend my last euros on the overly priced "limited edition" they put out with a fear of getting some overly hyped mediocre film. Well I wasn't disapointed, it hit me like a sledgehammer and went straight to my all time favourite movies. Would have paid a lot more had I known what I was really getting. But that was back then 6 years ago, now I gave this classic a revisit. So the movie is a quite basic story of abuse and revenge, but done with a take no prisoners attitude. A girl gets sexually abused as a child and looses her ability to speak. Then 15 years later she's kidnapped and shot up daily dosage of heroin to make her a sex slave. And of course she then takes a revenge. The hard core porn inserts are still one of the best I've seen in these types of movies. Sure they are there purely for the exploitation factor, but yet they kind of fit the story. The other infamous insert with the eye is still freaking gross, but that also fits surprisingly well to the grim tale. The slow motion scenes worked like a charm before, but now not that much, seemed to drag it on a bit too much. The ending was still as magnificent as before, hadn't lost a bit of it's poetic justice feel. All in all it still worked, but now I paid a bit too much attention to the small details which were not really working. As it's a movie with only grander scale events, the details are not meant to be seen, so that kind of broke it up with me. Even though the movie is in The List, I'm not going to give it full percentage now, as right now it didn't work as good as in the first viewing. But also I'm not going to remove it from the list either as it has it's well deserved place there as a definite genre classic.
89%

99 years is a long time...

The Big Doll House (1971)

One of the better women's prison movies from the golden era of exploitation movies. Shot in the Philippines like so many of it's kind, due to cheap labour and exotic location. Though the location doesn't matter that much in this one as it's mostly shot indoors. It's not in the same league of exploitation as the more notorious ones from the same era, this one being quite easy-going, but it doesn't matter at all as there's so much going on that you won't get bored. Actually the exploitation is just a side product in this one as it's focus is on the tough women. Though I'm quite sure their initial intention wasn't that, but the strong cast just turned it that way. Any which way the movie is filled with the trademarks of it's kind like torture with various appliances, lots of shower scenes, violence, soft core sex and of course not forgetting mud wrestling. I've seen this movie quite a many times by now and was surprised that it still kept me watching without losing interest. The scene with Pat Woodell in a tan dress shooting with dual MP40's is something that burned into my head from the first moment I saw this movie back in the 80's and still today kicks ass more than any other gun wielding woman since.
86%

Sickest movie ever made?

A Serbian Film (2010)

Ok I think this will be a longer review as this movie sure was thought provoking, among other things. Also I might go into some details in some of the scenes, but it's not going to spoil anything as I won't go in to the plot details that much. It surprisingly did have a plot and not even a bad one. And anyways what ever I tell you about the scenes are nothing compared to if you ever see it for yourself. So first of all the movie is about a male porn star who is offered a huge pay on a new movie which he can't get any details about. The movie they make starts to get weirder and sicker each scene until things start to get seriously fucked up (no pun intended). First I have to go into the biggest thought this movie provoked in me, which is what is enough? I mean I understand that the average Joe in a theatre eating popcorn and giggling at the leather faced man chopping up women with his chainsaw needs a bit more than just a bucket of blood and guts to get him gagging up his popcorn. But is it really necessary to show the sickest things imaginable to get someone's attention? Wouldn't just a hint towards them be enough? At least the makers of this movie thought not. I sure as hell could have lived my life happily ever after without seeing a woman giving birth to a child only to have the infant raped by a big bald man. Or a woman to get her teeth knocked out and then suffocated with a penis. You get the point, this movie is hardcore sick. Way too sick for me. And that's where the movie fails. Most of the times just hinting on sick stuff makes them work a lot better than actually showing them as your imagination will mess your head. Even though I've seen some sick movies in the past, I really felt dirty after seeing this. Like I shouldn't have seen it. But unfortunately nowadays where all your senses are pounded with a hammer to get your attention these kind of movies will pop up from time to time. And they are aimed for the crowd who think nothing's enough. But this was not just exploitation, like I said this movie does have a plot and it's actually a pretty good one. The music was kinda annoying at parts as it was loud all the time. Again hammering your senses. Hats off for the actors in this one as I'm sure this wasn't an easy movie to act in. This movie can't be categorized and that's actually a good thing. Sure it had a bit of suspense in it but apart from being afraid of what sick thing is shown next, the scariest thing about this movie was the thought that there actually might be people out there who are in the market of the kind of material the characters in this movie are making. Without a few way too messed up scenes and with a bit less exploitative narration this movie would have been actually quite brilliant, but now I never want to see it again. Though after the initial shock right after seeing it, I'm kinda glad I did see it as it really gave me a good reference of what's enough. 60 percent for the story and the thoughts this movie provoked.
60%

The girl next door in an american crime

Few weeks ago I was talking to a friend of mine who said he just saw probably the most horrific movie he had ever seen called The Girl Next Door. Then a week or so later another friend of mine said pretty much the same things about An American Crime. So I had to find out what it was all about as they were made in the same year and the story was strikingly similar. That reminded me of a similar case for example with Armageddon and Deep Impact having pretty much the same story and made in the same year. So I thought it would be a great idea to watch them at the same time to see which is better, something I later on figured out wasn't such a bright idea...



The Girl Next Door (2007)

Whoa, this certainly stopped me. One of the most painful, gripping and horrific movies that I've seen in a long time. It's extremely hard to watch, but that doesn't mean it's a bad movie by any means. It's brutal, it's nasty, it's just plain wrong and the most shocking part is that it's based on a true story. But it's not just exploitation of brutality to shock the viewers, there's a touching story in it too. Also Blanche Baker makes a shocking performance and genuinely portrays a scary character, really a performance you won't forget. Not to mention Blythe Auffarth as the girl who has to go thru the whole thing. It's definately not a movie for the squeamish and at parts the images are so strong that even I had a hard time watching. And I don't mean it's a gore fest, it's just so hard subject that even the smallest parts they show makes you feel sick. I don't think I want to see this movie ever again, but it left a memory in my head that won't go away any time soon either. If you're planning on seeing this, don't mistake it for The Girl Next Door from 2004 or you'll be in for a surprise... Thou I bet the surprise (or shock actually) would be bigger the other way around.
88%



An American Crime (2007)

Don't know if I was just numb for just seeing The Girl Next Door, but this wasn't as striking as it was. The story is pretty much the same but this was a much milder version of it, with court house drama fitted into it. The first images with the photos of the victim got me thinking "damn, I can't take another one of these in a row" and was about to stop it there. Well, I suppose luckily, the movie turned out to be a bit more "Hollywooded" version of the story. The cast did a great job, but even thou Catherine Keener does a great performance and Ellen Page is as good as always, they are nothing compared to those of The Girl Next Door. Don't get me wrong the story is as disturbing and ugly as in The Girl Next Door, but in a bit more easily approachable package. And there are some scenes that are horribly disturbing like the little girl saying with a happy voice "It's ok, mom said we can" while the kids are burning Sylvia (Ellen Page) with a cigarette, that's just twisted. And again the most disturbing thing is that the story is gathered from the actual court documents.
62%

So the "victory" goes to The Girl Next Door, mostly because it's so much more raw and realistic, you really feel for the characters. But if you're easily disturbed by strong movies An American Crime might be a better choise as The Girl Next Door isn't really an easy movie to watch. And I definitely can't recommend watching them both back to back for anyone. I think I'm going to stick to comedies for a while to get these movies out of my head.

One hell of a ride

Hell Ride (2008)

This movie reminded me of a writing I saw in an army toilet paper bin, it said "This paper is like Clint Eastwood, it's rough, it's tough and it takes no shit". That's exactly how I felt about this movie. The script would be better suited as toilet paper, but the movie is rough, tough and it takes no shit. It's a bad ass movie made for men and it doesn't even try to challenge your mind. The men are each tougher than the other and the ladies are beautiful wearing very little to nothing. The cast is just awesome with Michael Madsen, Larry Bishop, Vinnie Jones, Dennis Hopper and even David Carradine has a small part in it. And the ladies, oh boy, let's just say they are lovely. The plot is simple and straight forward but that's what you'd expect from this kind of a movie. Still it beats the hell out of your usual summer blockbuster no brainer, because this one has the balls. Was about time someone revived the biker movie genre. Awesome ride and a great movie if you don't take it too seriously. Would be unfair to call it a masterpiece, but this is what I call entertainment.
81%