Uwe Boll with a good idea, and it's not even April fools

Rampage (2009)

Uwe Boll, the man who has made crap into his own artform, usually makes only two kinds of movies, horribly bad ones or very rarely those which turn out to be so bad that they are hilarious. This one however was neither. It's horribly shot, it's rather badly acted, it's completely morally wrong, it's direction seems a bit lost at times, it's full of plot holes and idiotic actions, yet it's not a bad movie. The premise of the movie actually promised quite a bit more than the movie finally delivered, but the way it takes is not a bad one either. At least I didn't see that big twist coming until a few scenes before it actually happens. Now for sure it waters down the striking and thought provoking start of the "rampage" but it turns the movie into a whole different track which is actually good for it. It kind of saves it a bit from becoming a moral train wreck where it clearly was going. So I have to admit Uwe Boll has actually stumbled into a quite a brilliant idea here. Too bad he can't use it to it's full potential and kind of loses track with it too often. Even though at parts the movie is quite painful to watch with the bad camera work, tedious repetitive editing and not very good acting, it's still worth to sit through it. These kind of movies are quite hard to review, I mean when you have a bad movie but the ending saves it and makes the rest of the movie actually feel better. I'm going to rate it based on the feeling it left me with, just be warned that getting there might not be easy.
70%

Did the hell just freeze over?

Postal (2007)

Uwe Boll, the infamous worst director in the world, has turned a pile of shit into a gem. Holy crap this movie was just awesome. I don't know where to start, there's so much greatness in this one. The humor was just brilliant, when it actually worked it was fun of course, but when it didn't work it was so bad it was funny as hell. It's overly violent and everyone get their share of the carnage, mostly women and children thou. That's the point of this movie, things go postal. It has no morale at all and it makes fun of all of the "wrong" things. But then again as everyone gets their share it's actually quite equal in the end. The "actors" can't really act, but you just don't care about that. It's badly made, thou some of the effects are quite good, but that just adds the camp value to it. The first scene with terrorists pondering on how many virgins they get when they die on a suicide mission is just brilliant. One of the best openings I've seen. I don't want to give away too much details, but there's tons really brilliant scenes in it. For example it has the best ending I've seen in ages. Just beautiful. I dare to call it an instant classic. Don't take it too seriously.
96%

So lets look at some of the masterpieces this guy has done before. Haven't seen many of them as they're usually not really enjoyable to watch. I'm not going to spend a lot of time writing much about them as they really don't deserve it. But maybe I have to check out more of them as there might be another gem in there.



BloodRayne II: Deliverance (2007)

Can't write a complete review as I stopped watching after 40 minutes. I'm going to give it ten percent as there might be something awesome in the end that I missed. But I doubt anyone will get that far.
10%



BloodRayne (2005)

I just feel sorry for some of the quite good actors he has somehow managed to get into this. It's supposed to be full of action, fantasy and horror. The action you get from shifting your position restlesly as the movie bores you to death. The fantasy stayed somewhere in mr. Boll's head. And the horror is probably you counting the minutes you still have to endure it. Still I'm glad I saw this, it makes the usually bad movies feel a bit better.
5%



Alone in the Dark (2005)

This was just an insult. The game was quite brilliant with an awesome atmosphere. This movie, well there could be a place for it in film schools as an example of how to not make a movie. Horrible crap.
0%



House of the Dead (2003)

90 minutes of my life I'm never getting back. It did raise some emotions thou, mostly hate towards the makers of this crap, the theatre for actually showing it and my friend who dragged me to see it.
0%